Dateline: September 6, 2014, Greenville, Ohio
The Tour De
Donut
My journey to Ohio and beyond was timed to take advantage of a truly unique opportunity to bag Ohio- a bike race and competitive eating duathlon called the Tour De Donut. I found it online searching for 50 in the Fifties events, and it had my name written all over it in powdered sugar. How could I resist?
September 5, I took care of the dogs while Jen did her flight surgery gig at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base.
After work, we drove up to early check in after checking the bikes- my front tire flat again… Disaster looming. We got lost on the way through flat farm country to a lame check in which left us thinking things were going to be chaotic. No shirts, no maps, no service.
Back in Beavercreek, where we were carbo loading for the race, Jen said, “Gee, I wonder if we should find a bike shop and see about that tire.” As luck would have it, there was a shop right across the street, so I drove the tire over there and explained how it was flat- The bike mechanic said it looked ok… Nearly new, in fact. But I bought a tube anyway (the best decision I ever made!) and went back to dinner. We had black bean burgers and turned in early- 6 am alarm.
Race day! Ok, so we took care of the dogs and hit the rd- I had my car behind Jen’s- I almost asked her to check my tire- but I didn’t. We get there 8 am- 30 minutes to spare and I get the bike out and then go for the tire and… “It’s flat. ” Thought it was all over right there- but I had the new tube and went to look for help- found none while Jen grabbed a tire wrench and got started. How a perfectly good tire can go flat 3 times in 2 days after 2 trips to 2 bike shops is unfathomable. Miraculously, as the raindrops started then stopped, Jen changed that tire.
We thought we would ride 2 miles, the tire would go flat, and we’d be done, but we rode the 32. A little ways in, a man held his hand up to signal a large group and in a split second flipped over his handlebars. Jen and I stopped. She’s a doctor, after all. Such a big guy, but he fell well and was at least oriented enough to check his watch for the date.
Due to the flat tire and the bike accident, we ended up missing the tight cut off for the 64 which I will not let happen again. I’m no doctor, and I’m going to plow through the wreckage and make short work of the rest stops waiting only long enough to eat half dozen donuts each time. Donut count for the 2 of us- 7. Donut count for me- 6. Hills encountered- 2. One was down into the rest stop, then up out of it. My brakes were squeaky on the way down and the guy in front of me seemed to think I was going to lose control of the bike, as he nervously murmured- “steep hill…” I reassured him that I had control of the hurtling descent… People here don’t know from hills. It’s pancake flat, corn and soybeans both sides all the way to the horizon.
I pulled over just after the first rest stop and picked a soybean for us to share. No sun, cool, lovely, no traffic, roads all closed. There were people in Viking costumes who had speakers to play their iphones and as the rain started, then stopped, a song came on that referenced rain, and I wondered if his phone selected the song for that. I think the tech is there for it. Later heard Addicted to Love, and I tried to stay with those riders but Jen wears that Air Force top and everyone wants to chat her up and we lose precious minutes.
This is probably the only competitive eating-biking biathlon in the country (though there are other venues) and I think I may have found my niche. I could easily have eaten a dozen doughnuts over 2 rest stops if I hadn’t been afraid to give it my all. Honestly I didn’t want my name all over the internet as the Donut section winner of the Ohio Tour de Donut. This could be an annual ride with Jen stationed here and next year I’m eating to win- oh, and riding some, too.
Despite the problems we faced today, we did get to ride, we did conquer Ohio, and it didn’t really rain. Our luck held after all. I am forever grateful to Jen for suggesting a bike shop check, and that new tube- it’s still holding air 4 months later.